Special...

WOW...it's been over a year since I've writen in this...and soo much has changed, not sure why I got the sudden urge to write in it now, it's not like anyone reads it but I'm bored and don't feel like doing work so instead I will look back on the past year and see how much I've changed...

The biggest change of all, graduation and college. I don't even remember the last month of High school, it's all a blur, and the next thing I know I am walking across the grass at graduation with my diploma planted firmly in my hand, and my tassle switched sides and I was no longer a student at FHU and was officially a freshman at UVM.

But first the summer, and what an amazing summer it was. Bri and I started hanging out again which is awesome, I didnt realize how much I missed our frendship over the past 3 years. We were pretty much inseperable this summer. So in short the summer was full of late nights, back roading, sewing, and just plain sillyness...and there's this boy :) The summer went by way to fast and I didn't want it to end. The thought of going to college and leaving everything behind scared the shit out of me, and I didn't know how things were going to work with the new relationship, and just college in general had me freaked.

But I made it through my first semester and I love it here, I did well grade wise and as much as I miss home I'm glad to be here. Classes are fun for the most part and I've met some really awesome people, and Tristan and I have made the distance thing work, so everythings worked out for the best. I'm finally truely happy with life, I might chance some minor details but for the most part life is grest and so much better then it was in high school. There are days where I get lonely or just homesick and I wish things had never changed but everything thats happened has made me a better person and don't miss FHU as much as I thought I would, the only thing I really miss is seeing everyone daily. Other then that school is so much better here, I enjoy most of what I'm learning and love Burlington, though i could do with out the wind and the below zero wind chill.

So as much as life as changed a lot of it had been for the better, and for the most part I'm still me. College hasn't changed my beliefs on certain aspects of life, if anything it's made those beleifs even stronger, and I know i have people who are behind me 100% in whatever I choose to do. It's weird how life changes but for the most part things stay exactly the same...


♥Suzi

freak out un warranted i'm in!!! haha i've got a future i've got a college hell i've got a UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!!!! wahooo haha jumping up and down wheeeee!!!

At 5 o'clock today i find out if i have a futur or not... UVM will post CONGRATULATIONS or i'm sorry your not good enogh...thanks to maeve i know this and am now freaking out, i've got butterflies and i'm so sick of people telling me i'll get in b/c i'm sorry your not on the admissions board or whatever there is no gaurentee i'm going to get in...so me being the over anylitical one keep thinking of all the what if's and what am i going to do if i don't get it you this is suzi FREAKING OUT and i don't like it 5 O'CLOCK NEEDS TO COME FASTER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So i'm finished with potography never have to go to that class ever again which is good and bad b/c that was mine and lindsay's class and we made it our own lol and it wasn't that bad of a class taking pictures and that kinda of stuff was fun i just didn't like the way he taught it and it was really boring but oh well mrs. cobs 1st period foods class here i come lol and then my algebra mid term went pretty good i took me like 2 hours but what else is new i'm slow at math but i'm pretty good at it, next week is going to be hell Spanish, and Psych on tuesday and then everetts ameican lit 5 essays in 90 minutes and then mr. willy's (HAHA SARAH KATE HEHE) 100 mulitple choice i can't wait till this damn week is over it's a waste of time we should have 1/4 exams then i wouldn't have to know so much shit and have it floating around my head all over the place grr o well i have 3 days off and that includes LOTS of studying gahh yukky yuk, well i'm out
<3 Suzi~Q

GOSH i havn't written in this thing in a while like sence LAST year haha ok theres my lame ass joke about it being a new year :) So now is my time to recall everything that happened in the year 2004 well it was pretty normal i drove for the first time in my entire life, went to my first but not last NASCAR race, didn't talk to my mom for like 8 months (that was great) made some new friends got closer the old ones missed the ones that are no longer here(Candace, Laura V, Laura Y, and who could forget PEAGREEN!! haha love ya girlies), had my sweet sixteen yes little suzi is growing up and into a nice young woman if i do say so myself;) hmmm well as you can tell my year was pretty normal for me, nothing exciting like becoming a resident of the big bad city of London for 4 months but would i really be me if i had?? HMMM thats a question you should all ponder real hard lol. So my life so far in 2005 is going good vaca was WAY!!!! to short i mean a week and 3 days how pathetic is that and i'm still paying the price for all those late nights, not being awake for your first 2 classes can kinda bite ya in the ass, hehe i've been talkin to my cousin who i havn't seen in FOREVER and it's really cool i can't wait to go down and see the whole fam it's going to be soooo great :) i mean i gotta find out who my sane relatives are right? YUP thats what i thought too, well ok then i need to study some fun filled psychology i promise to write a little more often haha and maybe i will have a life by then

Suzi~Q

YES!! it is time again for the thing we look forward to most from the end of august it's CHRISTMAS BREAK!!!!!!!!!! when we have at least a week usually more to do nothing but sleep with no worries of school in any way shape or form! we spend time with the ones we love and the friends we choose and we enjoy the time imensly until we are thrown uncerimoniusly back into the day to day rutine that we know as school, and then shortly there after it becomes slightly interupted by the retched things known as exams, but none of that matters at this moment, you go to bed dreaming of what is going to be under that tree christmas morning and the happiness that is always in the air this time of year. Yes my friends this IS the best time of year no questions asked life is good and we have no worries, you have special privlages that linds and i have already taken to our advantages which include be sleeping in till late in the afternoon 1 or 2 for example. the only thing i ask for now after the shopping is done and the presents wrapped is for mother nature to be a nice person and send me some snow and for all of those i truely care about to be happy and healthy and if that happens all will be right in the world :)

PAIN IS BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD BAD VERY BAD!!! whether it is emotional or physical it's still VERY BAD!!!

Today was awesome i got my christmas tree and i picked it out and it is BEAutiful i love it and it smells soooo good i love the smell of christmas trees its almost orgasmic haha jk and my dad got all upset and says next year we are getting a 2 foot one that sits on the table but i know deep down inside he likes it too specially b/c it makes me all happy!:) the only thing is our star that goes on top broke so we have to find a new one but everything else is perfect and pretty and i love it i'm soooo happy christmas is on it's way i can't wait :) hehe sarah kate told me the funiest thing about her day and the quote of the day is "La di daaaaa i want you to die doo doooo." isn't that GREAT!! haha i guess you would have to know the story behind it and to the person it intails haha good time good times, Maeve is all happy again and cheerful and thats good to see again i hope you get your little christmas man maeve with that special kiss under the mistletoe, i want a boy too!!! hehe i want to feel the butterflies and feel all special but i can deal with out it. It's back to good ole FHU tomorrow bright and early so that means i have to go study a little bit for my chem test ttyl
<3 Suzi

Today was a lot of fun, i went christmas shopping with the maever and alex. I went with 60 dollars and came home with 4 fun stuff huh? I got my dad some stuff i would tell ya but he might read this haha, i'm not done yet still gotta get him a few things and i gotta get my sis some thing and then all my buds i think i know what i'm getting for maeve but idk about linds or alex hmm and idk who else i've only got 50 bucks left so don't be mad if you don't get anythin, i got some pictures taken for photography still gotta take a few more but thats ok i think i'm going to like this roll of film though so fun stuff i made a ring tone for alexs phone and it is the best thing EVER!!! it sounds like irish bag pipes haha it's still awesome though, man maeve we didn't get your mistletoe how much does that suck it's good to see you happy with those butterflies in ur tummy again now we just gotta do the same for me and things will be great :) haha I got and "A" on my declaration of indepence i was very happy seeing as that damn thing sucked to write but it's cool and he wrote in his comment that he was sorry it had to be written hahah guess i got my point across seeing as how that was persuasive essays are written for hehe GO ME!!! I GET MY TREE TOMORROW can't wait only ywo weeks till christmas it'll be so exciting all my presents hopefully one comes in a small box and its a key and then i go look out side there is a car with a big red bow on it that is my dream!!!!!!or hell a lap top would make me extreamly happy too so either one sounds good to me :) haha ok i'm off to lay down b/c i have cramps in my tummy and they huurt like a mother hehe
<3 Suzi

I cooked dinner tonight after we got back from the Eaton's for jack's birthday get together, we had ice cream cake and it was yumm and then i came home and cooked dinner it was chicken parmassian with fettatini (I can't spell) and it was yummy specially b/c i made it all by myself :). SHAWS IS SCARY!! specially when you see the crazy guy that trys to get you to speak some crazy forigne language hahah and then you run away so he doesn't see you and avoid avoid avoid!!! not that i don't like him but he can be kinda freaky sometimes so i keep my distance, but i do that for teachers in general outside of school. Mr Williams dressed up as santa today and ryan talyor sat on his lab and they took a picture i couldn't stop laughing it was crazy shit like chem always is and sarah kate and missy and I did the wizard of Oz walk down the hallway and it was soo much fun havn't done that in a couple years Good times good time. Maeves hair was SOOO pretty today we have decided we are switching hair i'm going to have curly and she can have the straight haha so she's coming over tomorrow and is going to curl my hair she is sooo exctied i just hope it looks ok. I FINISHED MY DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE!!!!! i am done and free from my mother hahah i wish that would be fucking great b/c i really don't want a mom that acts like a 3rd grader!! O well lol hmm i think thats it
<3 Suzi

PS-CHRISTMAS IS IN 19 DAYS!! only 18 more shopping days ya'll better get busy and be lots of presents hehehe

I'm 15 for a moment
Caught in between 10 and 20
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

I'm 22 for a moment
She feels better than ever
And we're on fire
Making our way back from Mars

15… there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose
15…there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live…

I'm 33 for a moment
Still the man but you see I'm a they
A kid on the way
A family on my mind

I'm 45 for a moment
The sea is high
And I'm heading into a crisis
Chasing the years of my life

15… there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to lose yourself
Within a morning star

15… I'm all right with you
15… there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live…

Half time goes by
Suddenly you’re wise
Another blink of an eye
67 is gone
The sun is getting high
We're moving on...

I'm 99 for a moment
Dying for just another moment
And I'm just dreaming
Counting the ways to where you are

15… there's still time for you
22… I feel her too
33… you’re on your way
Every Day's a new Day

15… there's still time for you
Time to buy and time to choose
Hey 15… there's never a wish better than this
When you only got 100 years to live

WAHOOOO only 24 days till the big guy in the red suit come down my chimney and leave me all sorts of wonderfull presents b/c i've been such a good little girl this year hehe. :) Today was one sucky day, it was raining ALL day and it was so dark outside that the street lights were on all day b/c it was THAT dark out, i was unprepared for my psych test but lucky me i pay attention in class and knew most of the stuff anyway and i only had to look at my notes for 15 minutes but i spelled a lot of things wrong o well what can ya do right? and i finished my National Honor Society application essay and handed it in today so now i am in the hands of 5 annonymus teachers lets just cross your fingers for me and that i get teachers who i have had before so they know i'm a good student and a good person for the National Honor society. I can SLEEP tonight for more then like 5 hours and be awake for all my classes hehe ok off to do my algebra homework then i'm going to sleep.
<3 Suzi

MISSING: Sponge bob square pants blow up thingy from a BK somewhere not in vermont but if anyone finds it they get a year supply of whoppers haha so if you like whoppers then FIND THOSE SPONGE BOBS!!!

Ok wanna know what i did today well scrowl your pretty mouse down the page to the entry on November 21 and change the 4th book to the 5th book and from 3 times to the second time and add in watching the Gilmore Girl marathon on ABC Family from 3 to 8 talked to my sister about her christmas present(i'm finishing her quilt for her) and trying to convince her to get a christmas tree b/c if she doesn't then i'm going to call her Scroodge up until christmas day!! and that my friends was my eventfull saturday i have no life and that is quite depressing but i deal
<3 Suzi

Hey MOM look at me
Think back and talk to me
Did I grow up according to plan?
And do you think I'm wasting my time doing things I wanna do?
But it hurts when you disapprove all along

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't pretend that
I'm alright
And you can't change me

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

I try not to think
About the pain I feel inside
Did you know you used to be my hero?
All the days you spent with me
Now seem so far away
And it feels like you don't care anymore

And now I try hard to make it
I just want to make you proud
I'm never gonna be good enough for you
I can't stand another fight
And nothing's alright

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

Nothing's gonna change the things that you said
Nothing's gonna make this right again
Please don't turn your back
I can't believe it's hard
Just to talk to you
But you don't understand

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

'Cuz we lost it all
Nothing lasts forever
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect
Now it's just too late and
We can't go back
I'm sorry
I can't be perfect

My Thanksgiving was very calm and i only had to eat one dinner and i didn't have to go from one house where i was happy and i was enjoying myslef to another house where it is so cold(not as in freezing as in people can be seriously mean) and so fake. I was happy and having fun with out getting pissed off and wanting to smack someone. So i come home and decide to be the nice sister and call and wish her a happy thanksgiving and see what she did turns out she went to my mom's and i finally find out why my mother never called me on my birthday and it's because i didn't call her on mothers day!! COME ON!!! ARE WE IN 3RD GRADE!!!!!!! So now i'm in a 3rd grade fight with my mother and i'm a VERY stubborn person so FUCK HER!! HER DAMN LOSS NOT MINE!!!! I'm not giving her the time of day. I mean it's not like she a real mom. one less person i have to shop for and one less holiday to get pissed off during, so pretty much i win. :) Thats all that matters is i rise above her stupidity. :)
<3 Suzi

"You can't pick your relatives but you sure as HELL can pick your Family"

Ok today didn't start off so great when i slept in and i woke up to jenny knoking on my door and i was suppose to be up like an hour before she got here OOPS!! Suzi made a whoops. So i got up and got ready and we were off on our wild adventure to the big bad city of Burlington. And boy was it an adventure, we were suppose to take old hollow road to spear street, so we would miss the shelburn road traffic (lots of construction) but i didn't know the name of the road so i was just going by memory and everything looks diffrent when there are no leaves on the trees. so we go by the turn but my trusty map tells me there is more then one way to get to spear street so we keep going and jenny, being the blond she isn't, is watching the road signs and NOT the stop light that is YELLOW and i'm like YOU'RE ABOUT TO RUN A RED LIGHT!! so she tries to stop but she's going to fast so VRRRROOOMMM we go right through it man that was thrilling lol and then we take a little dirt road called lime killn which was kinda sketchy and that gets us to spears street and we make it to barns and noble and when we are done there we have to ask for directions to get to church street from there, we get there and park and go shopping, THEN all hell breaks loose, we got lost we took a left instead of a right then proceed to make more left turns and start following a mailtruck lol and then jenny wants to ask a really hot mailman for directions but i'm the shy little girl and he looked busy hehe so we end up in the old north end by the burlington high school WAY!!! outa our way and so we ask christmass tree sales men people who were boy scouts for directions and i SOOOOO wanted to buy a tree but we didn't have room and my daddy won't be happy HUMPH I WANT A TREE!!! hehe ok well i'm tired didn't get a lot of sleep and with all the excitment of the day i'm pooped and i gotta rest up for GOBBLE GOBBLE DAY TOMORROW!!!!!!!!! TURKEY DAY!!!!!!!! Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is in the morning wahooooo
<3 Suzi

Only 8 more periods until i don't have to worry about any school work for at least 4 days and if any of my teachers assign shit over this break they can all suck an egg b/c that isn't happening! Only 7 periods of classes and 6th if you don't count my lab period WAHOOOO!!! The mirical is i have no test tomorrow i might have a quiz in spanish but i never know in that class. OMG i just made a big OOPS!! I thought Paul McCartney played in aerosmith and i thought i gave my dad a heart attack, i mean how was i suppose to know he was a BEATLE for crying out loud!! I mean COME ON!! lol suzi made a oops!! But i made laura laugh really hard and give me a vitrual smack in the head hehe maybe that's why my ear hurts right now!! SEE WHAT YOU DID LAURA!!! you hurt me and i'm sad now haha jk i love ya :) ok i've gotta do and essay and make up a whole bunch of bull for spanish so i will write tomorrow when i'm free from HELL!!
<3 Suzi

Ok I ask you all how many times have you read the 4th Harry Potter book?? My guess is most of you havn't read it or you've only read it once. well today i came to the conclusion that I my friends have a problem......I'm addicted to reading yup thats me the person in the corner with a book in her face. I came to this conclusion today when i started read the 4th harry potter books for not the 2nd time but THIRD!!! yes third how pathetic right well Oh Well i am out of books to read so i'm re-reading the ones i have and i started to re-read the 5th book and found that i forgot what happened in the 4th book so i'm reading that one at the moment and i've read about 160 something pages today alone yea i am a bookworm if you look in the dictionary you would see my picture next to the word. Any way other then reading today was uneventfull just like anyother saturday in my life. I woke up at 12:30 yes 12:30 i needed to catch up on my sleep. Then i read and then helped my dad with dinner and in the process i almost passed out i got really dizzy and broke out in a cold sweat and i had not color in my face and i mean i was white as a ghost my guess is i was dehydrated stupid me!! I don't take care of myself well enough, but my dad made me drink some fluids and eat dinner and i feel better now. Oh i also watched Casablanca and i must say it wasn't a bad movie for a black and white flick. I also understand some more Gilmoreism now and if you don't know what a Gilmoreism is then i must say uou are one hell of a LOSER!! Haha J/K i'm just a little addicted to that show. So i'm off to do dun dun dun READ!!!!!!!!
<3 Suzi aka Bookworm

WAHOOOOO we made it through another week at HELL!!! Only two more days and we get a full 3 days off. Today was cool lots of things happened today well not really but it was a happy day none the less. I found out that i'm eligible for the National Honor Society which is really cool and i hope i get accepted but i probably won't due to the fact I have like NOOO resueme, but i'm still happy i was even given the application, i think i'm just going to try to write one hell of a narative and see how it goes, i told my dad that it didn't matter to me if i got in but the truth is i REALLY want to get in i understand it's a long shot but it would be fucking awesome if i do. I've started my christmas list b/c i found out the second season of Gilmore Girls comes out on DVD on decemeber 7th so that is at the top of my wish list along with a car but that is like impossible so i will just keep on dreaming, I'm pretty sure i failed my elements quiz today but o well what can you do. well i'm hungry and my dad wants to be back in time to watch the UVM vs Kansas game tonight, they're playing the #1 team in the NCAA so it should be interesting so i'm off to The Wheel in good ol' Benson for dinner
<3 Suzi